I Am THAT Mom

I am THAT Mom and I'm not apologizing. I care about what my children, albeit they are adults, do. I surrender to the fact that I no longer have control over their comings and goings, the decisions they make, or anything else major they choose to do with their lives. But I always have been and always will be THAT Mom.

Perfect example is the other evening, Tara calls me and, in the middle of our call, she stops to inquire of a motorist on their oil slick road, whose car is disabled. Did they need help and, if so, her husband was right down the road and he'd come and help them. That was an admirable thing for her to do; the neighborly thing and, as she described it to me, the motorist and his wife were an "old couple" and their tire was shredded. As it turned out, they had already called for assistance and, therefore, Tara went on her way home. I'm proud of her for never turning her back and I do give her credit for being careful and aware of her surroundings. But, in those few minutes that always happen when she and I are having a phone conversation and we're cut off because of lack of service, my imagination runs wild. All kinds of wicked scenarios run through my head, i.e., the old couple were "plants" and some thug is now trying to wrestle my daughter out of her vehicle into his and she's going to be a "missing persons" report. My next move is to wait the appropriate amount of time which, in my books, is about 5 minutes, then call the house to make sure she made it home safe and sound. I brace myself for the usual annoyance I know I'm going to be greeted with as she answers the phone and assures me she is home and all is well. To her, my insecurities about her well-being are a pain in her rear; to me, even the sound of her exasperated voice is music to my ears.

I have the same fears for Troy, my son. His former job had him traveling so much by air and, when I had knowledge of where he would be taking off and landing, I tracked those flights, online. Yes, I am THAT Mom. Just because Troy is a grown man, doesn't mean, in this mother's mind, he couldn't also fall prey to the miscreants who lurk in dark corners, waiting for travelers such as he, in hopes of relieving him of his laptop, phone, credit cards; all those things that seem to have street value which, in the dark world where criminals live, have more value than human life.

Just to make it clear, I'm not just obsessive about the safety of my children and grandchildren. Donn has also fallen victim to my worries about him. He got a major tongue-lashing for, of all things, not having his cell phone on vibrate in his pocket, when he was outside doing yard work. I couldn't fault him for spending 10 hours in the yard, doing fall clean-up by blowing leaves in to the woods. What I did chastise him for was the fact that we're not as young as we used to be and "things" happen when we exert ourselves, lose track of time and don't bother to stop for food or even a drink of water. What would it matter if the leaves were chest deep on the lawn, but Donn had passed out, or worse, and was on the side of the yard, near the woods where no one would see him? Let it be said, he never ventures out of the house without his cell phone and my knowing where he is.

To be clear and fair, to me, though, let it be said that when my kids lived at home, I didn't have them on a tether. They had a fair amount of freedom to come and go and I trusted them to use their common sense and good judgment, which they did. I only asked that 1) I knew where they were going, and 2) they gave a call when they were headed home, so I (we) knew when to expect them. Both Tara and Troy were very good about that, understanding that my sleep wasn't going to be disturbed by the courtesy "I'm on my way home" phone call, because I wasn't going to be asleep until I heard the front door open and knew they were safely inside. Donn is still amazed by the fact that I could hear their cars approach 1/4 mile away from home. As recent as Troy's latest trip home and he was driving a rental car that I was not familiar with...I knew when he was within 500 feet of our driveway. I guess I have highly advanced "Momdar" (Mom +Radar+Momdar).

Today, my task is to keep track of my granddaughter, Piper Kate, as she flies, unaccompanied, from Detroit to Denver. I don't know what airline she's flying, but I know she's due in about 8:30 in the evening. With the help of the internet, I'll be able to find out what flight she's on, track it and be the wind beneath it's wings. Whatever it takes...I'll get it done!

Am I the definitive "needy" woman? If that means do I need to love and care for all that I have been blessed with then, yes, I am needy. If I didn't have my husband, children, grandchildren, family and friends to love, then what would I be? I define myself by the love I have to give.

I'm assuming I'm not that much different from any of the other Mom's I know. Well, maybe I'm a little more towards the OCD end of the spectrum, but I feel I share the same hopes and fears as the rest of my friends. My children were gifts to me at their births and I was charged with raising them with unconditional love, guiding and directing them so they could make good moral choices throughout their lives, and keeping them safe and sound as they moved out into the world to make their way on their own. Just because they are grown, with families of their own, doesn't mean my responsibilities end. The unconditional love I have for them is pure; it will never end. If they should ask for guidance and direction, then I will always be there to help them find the answers they seek. As for keeping them safe and sound, I can't do much about that. Trust, though, that every day, via my love and spirit, I walk, fly, drive and run every step with them and if there is evil in their path, it will have to get past me before it gets to my child, because I'm THAT Mom and will not apologize for who I am.