I Remember

We all have mothers, past or present, otherwise we wouldn't be here. The influence they have on us is undeniable, be it positive, negative or somewhere in between. They are from all corners of the earth, every size, shape, color and age. So many different words of love, admiration, anger, indifference, joy, sadness describe them and, on any given day, all of the above in the same sentence.

My mother loved me, of that I am very sure, and I loved her. She passed away when she was 82 and I was 46 and, during those years, she nurtured, frustrated, mentored, mystified, encouraged, baffled, humored, angered me and it all began on the day she brought me into this world.

Always, she remembered me. I was never forgotten or an after-thought. Maybe all the attention paid to me began when she discovered she was pregnant and the anticipation of what I would be started. But, it's the remembering I hold on to, now that she is gone. She was there for every step taken, word said, song sung, dance danced, smile smiled, tear shed, and she remembered it all. The days, the seasons, the minutes, the moments and all the ups and downs in between. I'm certain no one will ever do that for me, the way she did in this life.

Mom and I shared so much and it saddens me that we were never able to share the woman I've become since she passed away. She never saw me as I worked through the unexpected surprises life threw my way courtesy of my children. She didn't see the look on my face as I held my newborn granddaughter for the first time; the tears of joy shed as I watched my husband walk our beautiful daughter down the aisle to begin her new life as a wife and mother; the pride on my face as my son walked across the stage to accept his diploma as a college graduate; the broken hearted helpless feelings experienced when my sister and brother passed away. I do believe, though, that wherever Mom is, on some level of spiritual connection, she knows of my life as I live it, day in and day out. I feel that she watches over me and my children and grandchildren.

I remember Katherine "Katie" Morrow today and every day. Without her, I wouldn't be here living and loving, and loving the life I live. I remember and will never forget.