Where Are You Christmas?

The lyrics start with "Where are you Christmas, why can't I find you? Why did you have to go?" Previous to this year, I've heard the song many times but it never held much meaning to me. Now, I feel like I own it.

This is the first year 1) neither of our children or grandchildren will be here; 2) we won't be traveling to see any of them until the New Year; 3) we're not doing a tree or any decorations; and 4) I'm not doing any baking or making special meals.

So much has changed for Donn and I this year that we seem to just be lost when it comes to Christmas. I can understand why it doesn't make sense to him to climb up in the attic and drag down boxes and trunks filled with decorations so that I can spend 2 days transforming our house into my very merry adaptation of a Macy's Christmas window. We have no plans for guests to come in and we're working and then we're leaving New Years Day to head out west to be with the kids. Why would we want to do that just for us???? I've thought long and hard about that question and all I can come up with is that I want to put everything up and out and all over the place because of the memories all those trappings of the season mean to me.

Christmas has always been my favorite time of year. As a child, I grew up with parents who made it all seem so magical. My Mom was an amazing baker and cook. She would start weeks before Christmas, and there would be homemade peanut butter fudge, chocolate candies, and more varieties of cookies than I can even remember. There were always new ones she would try but the standards everyone waited for were the butterballs, date filled cookies and, of course, the decorated cut-out sugar cookies. While Mom prepared all the treats, Dad was busy from Thanksgiving through the next week or so, turning the outside of our home into a fantasy land of lights and characters. Remember, this was back in the 50's and 60's. The technology that brought us oversized inflated balloon-figures, animated lighted deer, sleighs, snowmen, and lights that stayed lit even if one burned out hadn't been invented. These were old fashioned strings of bulbs, that adorned every inch of roofline, circled every window, doorway and lined the walks. Now, for the trees! Daddy had lights on every row of branches of every evergreen and each tree, was crowned with a lighted star at the top. My parents were devoted to the reason for the season, so the main focus of the front yard was the large Nativity display. The creche, Mary and Joseph, 2 or 3 angels and an equal number of shephards. I remember the lamb and the donkey but most important, I loved the small plastic infant Jesus. There was a light where He would lay until late on Christmas Eve when Dad would lovingly nestle Him in his appointed place. Not before Christmas Eve, you understand, because He wasn't "born" until Christmas Day.

"Where are you Christmas, do you remember the girl I used to be?"

Christmas will come and we will celebrate. It will be a different celebration than those in the past but we will rejoice and enjoy what we have. Donn and I will have presents for each, we'll eat on my Christmas dishes and Donn will wonder why in the world, once again, I insisted on getting a fresh balsam wreath that will shed all over the entry way floor. I do that just to see if he's paying attention...hehehe. I've shopped and sent presents to Troy, Tara and the grandchildren and I'll be making special treats as gifts for my friends and neighbors.

So, you see, Christmas doesn't need to find me because I've never lost it. I love the giving and the joy I get from sharing what we have with those we love. I take that with me every day of my life and know that I've passed that on to my children. As for the Infant Jesus and His special place in the manger scene...He, too, is always there, where I can see Him and celebrate the gift of His birth and what it means to me.